In my practice I often meet people disconnected from their own emotion. It seems to be linked to our model of society, especially here in New-Zealand where from young a age we are taught to be tough, to 'suck it up' and to keep going!
The problem with this common behavior is that over time all the emotion we bottled up need to come out a way or another... Sucking up - frustration, anger, sadness, grief, shame, guilt- over years will end up blowing out in unexpecting and detrimental ways for ourselves and others around us (burn out, depression, mid-life crisis, diseases...).
We are complexed and multi-layered beings that should be comprehended as a whole. Unfortunately, our society is mainly based on the 'mental' construct of us; We must be intelligent, we must do well at school, build a career to earn money, have kids, retire maybe one day and not pay too much attention on our emotion. But we are way more than that. Our feelings and emotion are also an intrinsic part of us yet, we tend to put them aside like they were not important. Especially here in New-Zealand, no one really express their feelings, everyone is showing a smiling face, a happy life, a happy marriage when actually deep down is a storm of mixed up and pilled up feelings.
Feelings and emotion are the way the body tries to communicate to our "over thinking mind". While the mind keeps the memories of ALL our experiences, the body remembers the memories through sensation including emotion.
We are human, therefor ANY experience is linked to sensation and emotion. When it's a happy memory, the emotion are translated in happiness, joy, lightness... But when it's a traumatic event, it is translated into a multitude of negative feelings (anger, fear, frustration, guilt...). And the body keeps the score. The problem is that over time, it creates a huge unbalance from within because we keep the negative emotion inside instead of releasing them. Here is an example. Imagine Carl. Each time he has a happy memory, a little feather is created. Each time he has a negative memory he hasn't released, it creates a little rock. Carl had a difficult childhood. He had some good moments but overall he had way more negative experiences. Imagine how unbalanced and heavy he must feel over time!
The question is then, how do we release negative emotion?
The fast answer is by learning to detach ourselves from the experience, therefore to detach from the feeling and emotion. It seems impossible to do but trust me, it is easier than you think, if you are willing to feel better and wanting to change.
Here is another image. Imagine your life as a movie. You are the movie star. You are acting all your life in different ways depending on the situation and the people you meet. But as the actor, you are inside the scene feeling, reacting, thinking without having other perspectives than yours. Now imagine that suddenly you see your life from the producer point of view. The producer created the movie. He knows the story, he has a wider perspective as he sees every scene from a wider angle. Well this is exactly what you need to do. Detach yourself from being this actor suffering from harsh situation and become the producer that knows sooner or later this experience will end. He also knows that he does not need to be as involved emotionally as the actor because he is 'out of the scene, seeing from a higher perspective'.
The real work is there, we must reconnect to our unconscious feeling in order to feel at peace with our own past. The recurrent negative thoughts we have in the mind are the result of our unresolved emotion from our past. The anxiety from the future are also directly linked to our unresolved past. Everything is linked!
Who is ready to be at peace with their own past to embrace the dream life?
Aurelie is my name (or Lilly) and I offer some Hypno-coaching program support (online) to guide anyone wanting to break free from old patterns. You can book a free consult with me or have a look around my website to see what I can offer. My clients range from 8 years old to 70+ with a wide range of issues.
I always loved writing. I remember writing some stories in my early childhood and I had a lot of imagination. I guess it is helping me now in my work as a hypnotherapist by using imagination to reach out the subconscious mind.